A horribly embarrassing anecdote…

When I was younger I used to figure-skate. Not all that pretty, frilly stuff because I wasn’t all that good. I had themes.

My first competition, the theme was: Mexican. My mom made me put on  fat black snow pants, a hot pink poncho made of yarn, and a sombrero.

I began to skate, and the sombrero blinded my entire view. I started to skate faster because I was about to do a trick or something. 

I twisted my skates and plummeted head first. I stayed there—laying face down on the ice for a few minutes while the audience looked at me in shock. I lifted up my head and saw my sombrero racing across the ice to the other end of the rink.